choose kindness
Intuitive Eating Principle #7: Cope with your emotions with Kindness.
For many, many years my disordered eating patterns and unhealthy relationship with food and exercise served a purpose. It served me as a coping strategy for challenges and difficulties I faced.
Having control over my food and exercise patterns allowed me to feel some sense of control in dealing with an often chaotic, unpredictable and stressful job.
Focusing on a ‘revenge body’ after a break-up served me in avoiding the difficult emotions that come up with heartbreak. Sidenote, just an awful and harmful concept for a show E! and Khloe Kardashian, if you watched ‘Revenge Body’, you know what I mean.
Experiencing vicarious trauma through my job as an emergency department nurse, I would hold back the tears and put my energy and resources into unhealthy eating and exercise, as a way to feel like I was coping.
Literally from when we are born, it is a physiological drive to seek food as a reward through breastfeeding. As a tiny human we learnt that are tears could be soothed through our Mothers Milk.
Growing up, it is perfectly accepted to use food as a reward or bribery. Who remembers the McDonalds vouchers for player of the day at sports?! Even in the healthcare setting we would use lollipops or ice-blocks to reward young people for going through a painful procedure like a vaccination or blood test.
So, give yourself some grace. It is widely accepted that food can be used to soothe, control or comfort us in times of experiencing difficult emotions. It does serve a purpose-to keep yourself safe and protected with the resources you have at the time.
It is important to know that we can all eat for comfort at times. However, there may be an opportunity to explore other coping strategies if you feel these habits are harmful or unhealthy in some kind of way, or cause guilt or shame.
How to ‘Cope with your Emotions with Kindness':
-Take some time to reflect on how you cope with difficult emotions. If you recognise that food and emotional eating is present for you, what purpose does this serve for you? We are all unique and have different experiences, and that’s ok.
-Notice your patterns. Ask yourself, what am I really wanting/needing in this moment?
-Accept, validate and normalise uncomfortable emotions. Difficult emotions are part of the human experience. We can sit with our uncomfortable emotions, knowing that just like the weather, this storm shall pass.
-Make an empowered choice to use helpful coping skills, instead of past patterns of unhealthy eating/exercise.
-Make a list of self-soothing/self-care ideas to use as helpful coping strategies. Here are a few ideas; Take a bath/shower, journal, watch your favourite TV show, listen to your favourite song, dance, sing, call a friend, cuddle your pet, go outside, go for a walk, do some yoga, have a mindful cup of tea, try deep breathing exercises, meditate…
And once again, it all comes back to being kind to yourself!
M x
