I have no idea what my body really looks like
For so long I had an immense dissatisfaction within my physical body and appearance. This looked like frequent body checking in the mirror throughout the day and a hyper focus on certain body parts that I wanted to be different. This hyper focus and frequency of body checking created a sense of body dysmorphia. Meaning I had no concept of what my body really looked like. For me this was closely tied in with an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise to manipulate and shrink my body to try and find some kind of body satisfaction. Surprise, this just created a viscous cycle of body dissatisfaction, body checking and unhealthy behaviours which never got me to the place of feeling satisfaction within my body.
Body checking is “the compulsive examination of one's physical appearance.” (Wallace, 2022). It can include a range of behaviours, such as:
Frequently weighing oneself [sometimes a few times per day] pinching or rubbing body parts [e.g. stomach, thighs]
Frequently checking body parts in the mirror
Over-focusing on how clothes feel asking others for reassurance
Comparing your body shape, or size, to others trends on social media (e.g. Tiktok)
It is essential to acknowledge there is a spectrum from body dissatisfaction to Body Dysmoprhia Disorder (BDD). “BDD goes well beyond the insecurities everyone has from time to time. If you have BDD, you might spend hours a day thinking and worrying about one or more parts of your body, even though people around you don’t see the same ‘flaws’ that you do.” (Fedchuk, 2022). If this is something you resonate with, please contact your GP or seek support from a health professional.
Why do so many of us have an immense dissatisfaction in our bodies, struggle with body dysmorphia and body checking? “Our culture places great value on surface appearances and often criticises people who don’t fit into a narrow definition of what is ‘normal’ or ‘attractive’. As a result, many people have complicated, difficult relationships with their bodies.” (Fedchuk, 2022)
Body checking creates a negative cycle, that can be problematic in individuals’ lives, just as it was for me.
Feelings of anxiety, fear, loss of control
Desire to reduce those feelings & feel better
Body checking behaviours (weighing, checking in mirror, pinching skin)
Maladaptive behaviours towards food & exercise
Feelings of anxiety, fear, loss of control (and so the cycle repeats)
An alternative is adopting a healthier relationship with food and exercise, with the aim of moving towards body neutrality and acceptance (note, the goal isn’t to just to love your body). Dr Hazel Wallace has some strategies that can support breaking the cycle of body checking…
Awareness & reflection "How do I feel after body checking?", "Is this serving me?"
Commit to reducing body-checking behaviours
Unfollow triggering social media accounts & trends consider removing other triggers* [weighing scales, clothes that no longer fit]
Focus on body functionality & health when it comes to movement
Get support & speak to a therapist
Be kind to yourself,
M x
References:
Fedchuk, D. (2022, December). Body dysmorphic disorder. Mental Health Foundation. https://mentalhealth.org.nz/conditions/condition/body-dysmorphic-disorder
Wallace, H. (2022). Movement Beyond Aesthetics. The Food Medic Webinar.
