When Healthy Habits Become Food Rules: How to Stay Flexible with Your 2025 Wellness Goals
It’s February, and by now, those 2025 wellness goals are starting to settle into routines. But here’s the thing about routines: sometimes, they can quietly morph into rigid rules without us even realising it.
A question from a reader landed in my inbox that perfectly sums this up:
"I’ve made a rule where I don’t have coffee on an empty stomach because it makes me feel high-strung. I also try to have high-protein breakfasts because they keep me fuller longer. But a peaceful Saturday morning found me almost stuck in the kitchen, telling myself off for having toast with marmite because I didn’t feel like preparing anything else before coffee. When do healthy habits become unhealthy food rules? How can I keep them helpful rather than rigid?"
This is such a relatable experience, and it brings up an important question: how do we distinguish between a helpful habit and a restrictive rule? Let’s break it down.
Healthy Habits vs. Food Rules: What’s the Difference?
Healthy Habits:
Come from a place of self-care.
Are flexible and adaptable to your needs in the moment.
Add value to your life without creating stress or guilt.
Food Rules:
Come from a place of control or fear.
Feel rigid and leave no room for spontaneity or personal choice.
Create guilt, shame, or anxiety when “broken.”
It’s not silly to notice these patterns—it's insightful. Recognising when a habit starts to feel restrictive is the first step toward sustainable wellness.
How to Tell If a Habit Has Become a Rule
Ask yourself these questions:
How does it feel when I can’t follow this habit?
If you feel guilty, anxious, or frustrated, it might be leaning into “rule” territory.
Is this habit helping or stressing me out?
Habits should make your life easier, not harder.
Does this habit come with an “all-or-nothing” mindset?
Flexibility is key. If you feel like you’re “failing” when you don’t follow the habit perfectly, it’s worth revisiting.
What to Do When Habits Start Feeling Rigid
1. Check in with Your Why
Revisit the purpose of your habit. For example, not having coffee on an empty stomach because it makes you feel jittery is a great act of self-care. But it doesn’t need to come with a side of guilt if life happens and you grab a coffee first.
2. Add a Dose of Flexibility
Healthy habits work best when they adapt to your needs. Instead of saying, “I must have a high-protein breakfast,” try, “When I can, I like to have high-protein breakfasts because they make me feel good. But some days, toast is just fine.”
3. Focus on the Bigger Picture
One meal, one snack, or one coffee choice won’t make or break your health. Consistency matters more than perfection, so zoom out and look at the overall pattern of how you’re caring for yourself.
4. Reframe “Discipline” as “Kindness”
Discipline often carries a harsh connotation—like you’re punishing yourself into following the rules. Kindness, on the other hand, allows for balance. Ask yourself, “What’s the kindest choice I can make for myself right now?”
Sustainable Wellness is Imperfect by Design
Here’s the bottom line: real, lasting wellness isn’t about rigid rules or perfect routines. It’s about building habits that make you feel good most of the time while leaving room for life’s messy, beautiful unpredictability.
Toast and marmite on a Saturday morning? That’s part of a healthy, flexible lifestyle, too.
If your 2025 wellness goals are starting to feel like a rulebook instead of a guide, it might be time to take a step back. Let’s make health about adding joy, nourishment, and ease—not pressure.
Need help finding that balance? I’d love to support you in creating habits that feel good and work for your life—on your terms. Let’s find what works for you.
Morgan x
