The freedom to CHOOSE

I’ve come back after a few days off last week, for a girl’s trip away to Auckland for a concert.

It brought me so much more joy that I had ‘the freedom to choose, on this trip.

In the past (my disordered eating, diet culture and food rules slave past) a trip away brought up so much discomfort and struggle, as my need for a rigid routine and control around eating and exercise was challenged. I would plan my weeks’ worth of workouts around the time away, often over-compensating. I would feel pressure to exercise while I was away, then guilty for not. I would also compensate with food, restricting more around a trip to either ‘earn’ or ‘make up’ for what I would eat. How can we possibly be present and enjoy these moments when our mind is consumed by these thoughts?

Nowadays, I can drop the struggle. In the lead up to the trip I had no worries about the impact a few days away would have on what I eat, or how I move my body.

I got to choose to eat at places I WANTED to, not just because I had pre-researched and knew they had healthy menu options.

I got to choose what I WANTED to eat, not just the ‘healthiest’ thing on the menu (cue ravioli and cheesy garlic bread).

I got to choose to eat these foods because they nourish my soul and brought satisfaction and enjoyment, which removed any feelings of guilt. When I got home, I continued to eat and move in a way that nourishes my body. Not as a punishment for eating out and not exercising for a few days.

I can show self-compassion, with the knowledge that consistency is the most important aspect in creating balance in health and wellbeing. A few days away is not going to impact any progress or make any changes to your weight or appearance. In the pursuit of living a rich, full life a few days away fuels my soul in so many more meaningful ways.

Being able to be present and enjoy these experiences with friends and family is far greater than being a slave to diet culture.